nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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