I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Drake has all the answers
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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