I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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