I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
