She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
