I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
