Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
