My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
