Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
