Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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