Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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