he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
