im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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