im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
