I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
