There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
