Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
