so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
