I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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