Whats the glycemic index on semen?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
