My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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