how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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