I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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