I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
