Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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