Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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