I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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