it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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