4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
