question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
