Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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