If that was your dad, he is hot
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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