ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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