Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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