I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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