sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
