There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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