ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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