Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize