I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
