Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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