so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
