I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
