Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
