They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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