Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
