Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
