it was like his penis was on wheels.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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