you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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