Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
