apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
