'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
