I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
