yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
