At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
