real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
