You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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