I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
