i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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