How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize