all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
