I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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