What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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