Its about making memories worth repressing
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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