I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This baby is an asshole
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
