He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The power of my boobs compel you
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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