just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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