the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
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Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
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In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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