why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
