Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
