I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
