Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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