Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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